It is 5:20 A.M. and I am in a motel room in Jacksonville, Fl. and I have been wide awake for nearly three and a half hours. I am here to go through orientation for a new driving job that will hopefully pay me a decent wage and still allow me time at home on a reasonably often and predictable schedule. The three other drivers with me in this orientation class seem to be convinced that things will continue as they have thus far, and that - even though we are supposed to finish up and leave today with our first loads - we will somehow be held until tomorrow. So far, I choose to believe that we will leave when we are supposed to and hope that it is sooner rather than later.
I have to get back on the road so that I can get home and get some sleep. Even though I used to build them, I have never been able to sleep comfortably in motels and I think it is because everything in them seems to be so artificial and I am an inherently natural person. Of course I know that it is also because of the lumpy pillows and over-used mattresses.
So many things with this job seem to be un-resolved but I hope it is only because I have been through all this before with other companies and haven't paid as much attention as I would have had I been well rested and un-jaded. In truth, I think all I really know about what I am doing here is that I am a good enough driver to somehow be able to muddle my way through until I reach that magical point when I have learned to do things the way this company wants them done. It is when things become routine that we are able to stop being nervous about screwing them up and simply start to enjoy accomplishing them.
It goes without saying that I miss my wife terribly, but it also should be noted again that I am confident that I will leave here when I am supposed to and thereby be on my way back to her arms before the day is out. I only hope when I get home that our "critter kids" will allow us a little time together without constantly coming up to ask where I've been, why I was there and how come I wasn't back sooner. It never ceases to amaze me how many thoughts and ideas some animals and humans can convey with just a look.
I cannot wait to again look into the eyes of those at home.