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NY's Cuomo, USSR's Stalin to receive International Emmys

ALBANY, N.Y. -- New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo is set to soon receive an International Emmy award for his once-daily televised briefings on the coronavirus pandemic that killed tens of thousands of New Yorkers this spring.

The International Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, whose members include media and entertainment figures from over 60 countries and 500 companies, announced Friday it plans to present the award to the Democratic governor in a live-streamed show Monday.

International Academy President & CEO Bruce L. Paisner said Cuomo is being honored with the academy's Founders Award for using his briefings to inform and calm the public. Previous recipients include former Vice President Al Gore, Oprah Winfrey, and director Steven Spielberg.

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In other news:

Joseph Stalin To Receive International Emmy For His Outstanding Hunger Relief Efforts

NEW YORK CITY, NY—The 2020 International Emmy Awards have announced their nominees for their hotly anticipated and highly credible award ceremony this year. In addition to giving New York Governor Andrew Cuomo a leadership award for his excellent pandemic leadership and skill in not killing thousands of innocent nursing home residents, the organization has also announced another recipient: Joseph Stalin.

According to sources, Stalin will receive a posthumous award for his outstanding hunger relief efforts. In addition, he will be honored for his masterful skill in crafting a narrative that caused even the imprisoned victims of his regime to sing his praises.

"We can't exactly say that Stalin's hunger relief efforts were totally successful, but he really did try," said International Academy President & CEO, Bruce L. Paisner. "Stalin was a master at crafting a narrative. People tuned in to hear his words of wisdom, even as he starved them to death. That's a skill worthy of honor."

Stalin will not be the only world leader honored at the 2020 Emmys. Here is a comprehensive list of the other nominees:

Mikhail Gorbachev—for outstanding leadership of Chernobyl cleanup
Kim Jong Un—for groundbreaking human rights activism
Hugo Chavez—for innovations in decreasing population of feral cats
Scar the Lion—for bringing together lion and hyena in the Pride Lands
Greta Thunberg—for outstanding performance by a child actor
Gavin Newsom—for electricity management and sidewalk cleanliness in California
Joel Osteen—for scriptural accuracy
Joseph Biden—for being most "clean and articulate" president since Obama
Kamala Harris—for award-winning laugh
Lord Denethor—for outstanding stewardship of Gondor
Kathleen Kennedy—for excellent management of Star Wars franchise
King Solomon—for chastity
McDonald's—for excellence in ice cream machine maintenance
The International Emmys—for most legitimate award organization
"We admire all of these nominees -- not so much for their real-world achievements, but for their incredible ability to make it seem like they had real-world achievements," said Paisner. "We look forward to announcing the winners!"
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