With Statues Gone, Pigeons Forced To Poop On Rioters
U.S.—With more and more statues across the country being pulled down, pigeons are being forced to redirect their payloads to different targets.
As soon as statues are pulled down, the pigeons turn toward the nearest available target: angry rioters.
"Yes! Down with racism--AHHHHH!!!!" screamed one rioter just after pulling down a statue of Christopher Columbus. The pigeons immediately turned on him, with a squadron of the birds divebombing him to unload hundreds of pounds worth of excrement. "Run!!!"
Rioters frantically tried to put the statues back up as they were attacked by the feral flocks. "Put Christopher back! Quick!" cried one Antifa group as they were swarmed by a whole fleet of pigeon bombers. But try as they might, their weak liberal arms could not lift the statue and they were forced to flee the scene.